Reflections on Graduation

My youngest daughter graduated from highschool this past weekend. She will head off to college in August. She was born to my husband and me when I was 35. Her sisters are considerably older than she is. I've always thought of myself as being emotional. I cry at the movies, I cry when someone shares something sad with me. I cried at the wedding of my oldest daughter. I cried when she gave birth to her daughters and I cried when she lost her son 18 weeks into her pregnancy. I cried when my middle daughter moved across the country. I cried 4 years later when she moved back. I cried at the graduations of my two older daughters. But I did not cry when my youngest graduated. I didn't really even come close. I wonder why. I think I might actually be ready to move on to the next phase of my life. Can it be possible that I am ready to have an empty nest? I love my family and anyone will tell you that I am happiest when I am surrounded by them. I love cooking big meals and having to squeeze more chairs around the table. I love the sound of conversations, silly and serious, of sweet little girls saying grace, of sisters teasing each other and their mother mercilessly. I love it when my home is filled to the brim with my family and their friends, but I am also starting to like the idea of some solitude. I think I will enjoy time to read, to study, to pray and time to enjoy planning the next family get-together. I wonder what it will feel like to not have to actively mother my youngest any more. She has grown into a lovely young woman just like her sisters. As she goes off to college she won't need me the same way she did before. I think that's alright. I think I'm ready. Come August I'll know for sure.